It was too cold in the house, but Evelyn had to remind herself that it was only temporary so it wouldn't get her down. Spring should have been here by now, but the weather always seemed to linger in the past before finally allowing itself to move on. It was the only thing she really hated about her four favorite times of the year. Especially now. This past winter was one she wanted to forget.
Her small baby bump was wrapped carefully in a pair of wool pajamas Benson bought her for Christmas a few months ago. They were dark blue with snowmen and snow flakes that buttoned down with ivory felt buttons, and she couldn't remember how many nights these clothes had kept her warm in the freezing hospital room at Quintel Medical Center. "She survived," was the title newspapers decided to go with after hearing word she'd survived her fall on December 3rd and it was something she had to live with when word broke out of her pregnancy. Only now did the press bother leaving her alone, but her therapist and medical attendants were another story.
She rolled onto her other side and stared at the man sleeping beside her. Turned away from her, Evelyn could only imagine what kind of somber, yet neutral expression was on his face. On nights when she couldn't sleep, she'd stare at him in the moonlight coming in through the blinds and wonder what he could be dreaming about. Sometimes he hoped it was her, and those thoughts always depressed her in the end.
The snow globe sat up in bed and turned herself over where she stepped down onto the floor. Holding her stomach, she boosted herself up and made her way to the kitchen where she turned on a small lamp and began brewing a kettle of tea. She waited at the counter to take it off the eye of the stove as soon as it began to steam so the whistle wouldn't wake up her companion, but standing there in the dark only reminded her of the last time she did this, back on the early morning of December 3rd. Only then she didn't make herself tea, only made a declaration to herself that she'd be back together with her Papa soon, back to someone who defined peace in her mind, despite what he'd done.
The water was still heating as Evelyn crossed her arms and stared down at the floor. She remembered going home to Ken that night too. She crawled into bed with him and told herself it would be for the last time. Now in hindsight, she couldn't believe how stupid she had been.
When her tea was ready, she poured herself a mug and sat at the kitchen table to stare out the window, just like she did those few months ago. The moon shone through the stars, and she could feel how crisp the air was by watching how the people wore coats and scarves on the roof of the next building. She wondered if they couldn't sleep either because of troubles, and she felt bad for them.
"Hey," she heard a voice say behind her. She turned to see Benson walking into the kitchen, rubbing his eye as he checked the clock. "It's late."
"Are you okay?"
He didn't say anything else for a while as he joined her at the table, bending over onto his elbows and watching the people out the window. Evelyn watched him.
"Did I wake you up?"
"No, but I wish you did
" He looked back at her. "I worry."
" She looked down into her mug. "It's just hard right now
" He reached over to stroke her hand but she pulled away. He brought his hand back and stared at her mug as well. "I know